Paranormal Debilitation

TOO SULLIED with loose threads, overwhelmed by buttons that have popped off, the ironing of a shirt, pants, creases, wrinkles that will not flatten, no, not washing dishes in a river, but still the anxiety of a half life, in that one can never sufficiently complete a chore, that nothing actually goes away, stays and stays or migrates into other chores.

Never suggest a fix-it to your boss, for instance—he will praise your ingenuity and tell you to implement it.

Seeping into the sand, an eternal barbell on your shoulders, what can get done first? One would expect a philosophy here, but we know there isn’t an epistemology of creases. Although creases can be symbolic. In fact, they can destroy your life, give you OCD or SPR or QQZ or FXK or whatever pharmaceutical companies are advertising on TV. The companies come up with the letters than the drug, or the drug and then the letters? Thus a new medicine can relieve LES—leaky ear syndrome.

Dust is everywhere. As you are dusting your coffee table, more dust is settling. In fact, the dust has dust on it. There is no overcoming the fact that we are composed of particles.

Once dead and interred, it won’t matter if we’re dusty of not, or if we clip our nails, which I understand continue growing. Your hair, too. What a mess you are when you’re dead.

The question arises, why be clean? I notice as I grow older it becomes less and less important to me what I look like.

I’ll do my laundry today only because I don’t want to stink. It offends others. But if I didn’t? So what? It’s all a charade. What’s “it”? How do I know? We’re taught habits of living, and they make sense because everybody follows them (at least in our environment—I doubt if the Pakistanis shower every morning, or at all).

Damn it, as I’m typing this, I notice my laptop is getting dusty. I have a small brush I use to dust it off. So, please wait a minute while I give it a dusting. Thanks. . . . There, it’s dusted. . . . I just sneezed from the dust and got snot all over my hand. This is insufferable.

Oh, sure, there are worse things than dust and snot. But I’m talking symbols here. Of course, if you can afford it, you can hire others to take care of your symbols.

Still . . . I just bought a set of sheets and some towels. The tags say that I have to wash everything before I use them. Clean items come pre-dirty. I saw a pair of ripped jeans for 75 bucks. Hell, I can get a pair of $20 jeans and tear them up myself.

Cleanliness is close to godliness. And we all (those with brains) know where godliness has gotten us.